Self-leadership: you determine your life

You lead and determine your life, everyday, through your choices and decisions. No one else does – no one else can. It’s real.  Are you taking the lead on your life?  Think about it this way: you live the impacts and consequences of your choices, today, next week, in a year.  It’s cumulative.  It matters.

No one else lives your life.  No one else makes decisions about what your days look like and how you choose to fill them.  Whether you take time for breakfast or grab a donut and coffee on the go; whether you finally read the book you started months ago or spend your time on social media.  What do you want most?  What matters most?  Your choices matter. So much of your life is about choices you control, and together, they build how your life looks and feels, one choice at a time. Every single day.

Whenever you’re tempted to think something could be better or different, or to blame something or someone for what’s happening in your life, press the re-set button:  where you are in your life, right now, is mostly about the small decisions you make every day.  Many of these decisions become habits which determine a lot about the quality of your life – whether life feels satisfying, meaningful and happy, or heavy, stressful and meaningless.

You lead your life in the same way you drive a car. You acquired driving skills; you fuelled your car; you are clear on route and destination; you don’t get discouraged by detours or lost on side roads.  You lead your life in the same way: you acquire life skills; you fuel yourself adequately; you are clear on where you want to go; you don’t get discouraged by challenges or road blocks, and you don’t get lost on side roads.

Self-leadership is about recognizing the control you have over your life’s direction, energy, purpose and satisfaction. Your self-leadership has power: it builds your resilience and your happiness.  Are you aware of it? Maybe you can’t control road conditions (the surrounding circumstances of your world), but you can get prepared with enough fuel (life energy), control where you go (your vision), how you drive (skills and experience), and not get discouraged by bumps and detours (declutter what matters less).

You already use self-leadership: Every single day, you make choices and decisions that impact your life right now, next week and next year. You make tons of choices every single day, whether you are aware of them or not. And not being aware of them is a choice, too. It’s called inertia. Letting life decide for you?  You are closing your eyes and walking into traffic, hoping for the best.  Whether you like it or not, you live the consequences of your choices.  Do your choices fit what you want from life?

Start with a small step and lead your life, one choice and one day at a time

  1. What do you really want more of, in your life right now?
  2. What do you want less of, in your life right now?
  3. What do you most want to change about your life right now?

Turn this into practical actions, with real consequences

  1. What small action or step can you take today?
  2. What’s preventing you from taking that step?
  3. If you choose not to take that step, what happens – what’s the logical consequence?
  4. What’s the cost on you, if you don’t make any change?

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